In the year 1791 within 6 months of my marriage, it was stated to me that the office of Vice Chancr of Lancaster had become vacant by the death of Mr Swinnerton, which was an office in the of Lord Hawksbury afterwards Earl of Liverpool, the Chancellor of the Duchy of County Palatine of Lancaster. Not knowing his Lordship, I took the liberty of applying to my venerable friend & patron, the Earl of Mansfield who was still living
, (tho’ he had resigned the office of Chief Justice of the King’s Bench in 1788 having filled it with great dignity for 32 years) to solicit his interference on the present occasion.
 He immediately sent me back open for my perusal, a letter to Lord Hawksbury, requesting that he appoint me to be his Vice Chancellor, pledging himself for my faithful discharge of it, & paking high entrms on my character. I took a copy of this letter, but I lament to say I have lost it. I sealed Lord Mansfd’s letter, & sent it to Lord H who sent for me in a few hours after & appointed me V C. This appointment gave great satisfaction to my two zealous friends, Lord Kenyon (who preceded Lord H. in the King’s Bench) & Justin Buller, men most distinguished in the legal profession. Considering my first dark prospects in life  & that I had attained these two honorable distinctions of a Comr of Bkts, and the Vice Chp of Lancr when I was but 28 years of age, I cannot but refer them all, with a truly thankful heart to the Great First Cauce, the Supreme Disposer of events & the Giver of all good. As this sitn required the exercise of judicial powers in the Co Pal I bid (what I hope has been my genl practice) look up to Heaven for illumination & wisdom, for diligence in my station, & for impartiality in the adminn of justice. That I might be quite free from any imputn of partiality, I determined no longer to act as a barrister in the Co because I was resolved that no man,  who had a cause depending before me, shd imagine he gained my favour by giving me a brief in the Court of Law.The resolution came entirely from myself, & when I wrote, as was my duty, to Lord Hawksbury, to acquaint his Lordship with this determination, his Lordship was extremely pleased, thanked me for what I had done, & ordered my letter to be enrolled, as a precedent in all future cases, & I blessed my God, that he had been pleased to inspire me with the disposn so to act. I then composed the following prayer.
“O almighty God, the author of every thing that is good for man, be pleased to accept of my unbounded thanks & praise for the various and  wonderful proofs of thy goodness, which I daily experience, particularly for the last great instance of thy kindness in promotg me to a place of so much rank & honour among the Tour of Men. Grant, O Lord, that no rank or station, however dignified in the eyes of the world, may ever make me forget, from who those blessings flow. But as I ascend in worldly honr, may I in the same proportion humble myself before thee, my God. May I ever recollect, that it is not for my own good only, but chiefly to attend to the interests of thy people, that I am so advanced. Grant therefore that in the seat of Judgt, I may ever keep thee & thy laws before my eyes. May the laws of the land, & a pure conscience, ever dictate my decisions.
 Let me ever recollect, that those who are entrusted with the administration of justice, ought not to be respectors of persons; but that equal justice is due to the high & to the low; to the rich & to the poor. May I ascend the seat of Justice with pure & unstained hands & whatever errors are committed may they be the errors of the head, not of the heart. Give me, O Lord, a patient & an understandg heart; let me be temperate, tho’ firm in my conduct; & grant, that as far as the law enables me, I may be a protector of the innocent, & a terror to the oppressor. May my deportment be peaceable, but firm in what I believe to be just, remembering that I ought not to be fainthearted when sitting in judgt & that rulers are to be a terror not to the good, but to the evil. These humble and hearty supplications, I offer at the throne of Grace, for the merits, & thro’ the medium of our Lord & Saviour, Jesus Christ, Amen.”
On the 9th Septr follg I took my seat, not without some agitation upon the Bench  at Lancaster, as Vice C of the County, having however first implored the assistance of God in the foregoing prayer, determining to use it always every morning, when I am to sit in judgment. I got thro’ the buss with more comfort than I expected, & as an acknowledgt of my deep sense of all God’s mercies, I left 3 guineas for the prisoners in Lancr Castle, & raised my weekly contributions to my charitable fund for the relief of the needy. I was this year elected Recorder of the Borough of Preston my
On the 21st April 1792, my dearest wife was delivered of her firstborn child, Mary Anne, who afterwards became the wife of Philemon Pounoll Bactard (see vol. 1. p. 60).
Ever since the year 1788, the Bishops of the Scotch Episcopal Church, upon the death of the Cardinal York, Brother of the late Pretender  to the Crown of these Realms, addressed the King, offering their dutiful allegiance to him, which he graciously accepted. In the following session of Parliament, three of their Bishops, Skinner, Abernethy Brammon & Strachan, came to England in 1789 to solicit a Bill for the relief of the Scotch Episcopalians from the penal statutes of 1715 & 1745 — & they were introduced to me for legal assistance — & thus I became intimately acquainted with 3 most excellent men, & thro’ them, & from the exertions I made for them, deeply versed in all the ecclesiastical history of Scotland, & more & more attached to that pure & apostolical branch of the Christian Church, in which I was born & baptized. But I gained more in my estimation; for by these means, I formed an intimate friendship with 2 of the best men  of their time, the Revd Dr Gaskin, many years, the excellent Secretary of the Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, who is still alive, & Wm Stevens Esq Treasurer to Queen Anne’s Bounty — who, with me, were a voluntary committee for the assistance of this oppressed body of the Church. My friendship with the latter gentn continued with unabated ardour & affection till his lamented death in Feb 1807, when I became his biographer. & therefore I need say the less of him in this place, nor need I speak of the Church of Scotland, as I have in that piece of biography (p. 90 to 105) given a full account of the whole proceeding. I shall only say here, that after four years  labour, we, on 15 June 1792, accomplished the work we had so long at heart, as beneficial to a more deserving & pious body of men & as conducive to the glory of God; hearing on this day his Sacred Majesty’s Royal Assent given to an Act for the Relief of Scottish Episcopalians from penal statutes. Upon that occasion I received an elegant Cup from the Scotch Bishops with (to me) a pleasing inscription, expressive of their sense of my labours in their cause & which cup I wish to be preserved in my family.
But my friendship with Dr Gaskin & Mr Stevens had another effect on me. They were both excellently pious & learned — deep theologians,  & the latter particularly cheerful, tho’ much older than Dr Gaskin. But being a bachelor, he was often at my house, & dined regularly, at least once a week, during the whole winter season. From these two invaluable friends, my life took a deeper tinge of an attachment to those things, which I had, blessed be God, always loved, namely a love for every thing connected with religion. They had read much theology — & spoke of their reading — of the character, of the writings; & of the lives of those illustrious authors — & others, who had adorned the doctrine of God their Saviour. Seeing the fruits of such studies of my two invaluable friends, I determined to make the same course of reading  mine, & to dedicate all my leisure time to the same pursuits as they did. I continually sought the best writers on divine subjects: & I believe I may truly say I have, for a layman, one of the best useful libraries in theology in the Kingdom.
My professional gains in the year 1792 amounted to £990. I thank God I gave out of that £27 to the poor & £60 to the more comfortable support of my dear parents.
In the year 1793, being convinced of the excellence of the Magdalen Charity — above 1800 of these unhappy women having been by means of that valuable charity at that time restored to a life of virtue, I became an Annual Subscriber little knowing at that time that I shd ever become its President & one of its greatest supporters. In the spring  Circuit of 1792, Mr Justice Buller was the only Judge, & as I was of course in the Comn of Jyer, Tominci of Gad delivery as Vice Chancr for the Co of Lancaster that learned Person was pleased to entertain so high an opinion of me, that he insisted upon my trying prisrs for him so that I became a Criminal Judge before I was 29 years of age — & I hope I gave satisfaction, for as long as only one Judge went the Northern Circuit in the Spring (which I believe continued to be the case for 14 years after this) I was always called upon to assist the Judge at Lancaster.
In the year 1793, the measure of strange events was full as to me & my family. I was exalted & I was  humbled — I had a mixture of joy & sorrow; but in every thing I perceived the hand of the Almighty.
At the March assizes for this year 1793 Mr Justice Buller, who was again the Judge, not only insisted, as before in the last year that I had try prisrs, but that I should charge the grand jury for him; & I have reason to know it was done to the satisfaction of those to whom the charge was addressed.
But I had scarcely returned from the Circuit, when a letter arrived from my Uncle Park, stating that he was in great distress, from the manner, the inference was clear that he wished to be relieved from the payment of £100 annually, which he had lately agreed to allow to my parents. These excellent persons determd with me to give it up  before it was asked, to asking which this letter was only a prelude, as we conceived, & resolved, by God’s blessing on my industry, that while I lived, they should not know for want of it. But, alas, I had hardly formed & communicated this resolution to them, when the hand of death seized my ever dear & excellent Mother on the 3rd of May 1793. She & my father had dined with me on 21st April, the first anniversary of my dear daughter Mary Anne’s birth, apparently in good health: but that night she went to bed, never to rise again in this world — for after suffering great pain — she expired on the day above ind. It pleased God that she preserved her senses to the last, was resigned to her fate; spoke of the kind atten-  -tion of her husband, & dutiful conduct of her childn during their lives; & with that anxiety, which had ever distinguished her, was busied in all the intervals of her disorder, in giving directions as to my father’s future comforts, when she was gone. She was, indeed, the most tender of mothers, & did more, under circumstances very, very stretched for her family than any other woman ever did. She was anxious that all her children should have a good education (& she gave it to us) for she held it to be the best inheritance. Her children may therefore (& they do) rise up & call her blessed; her husbd also, & he praiseth her. The remains of this dear parent were honorably interred in a vault in Mary Bone Church Yd on the 8th May, myself attending with a sad heart, to see those last duties  performed. I mean to erect a tablet to her memory at my own expense. It was agreed, & had been so determined by my dear mother, that as my sister had no children, it was better that my father had live with her: & his income will now enable him to live comfortably & independent of the world.
Amidst these afflicting scenes, by which I hope my heart was made better, I must not forget the continued goodness of God, in my professional pccips, which increased so much, as to enable me to pay off all my debts, & to double my charitable fund for the relief of distress to 1/2 guinea per week.
This eventful year (1793) has also been productive of anor fircful calamity to me. I returned from the Summer Circuit on Tue 24th July just to attend on my dear wife  who expected to be confined in the Autumn of this year. I, on the 13th Septr dined with two friends in order to discuss some very important affairs relative to one of them; when it pleased God that my house shd be on fire abt 7 in the evg immediately occasioned by the negligence of a servant. My dearest wife, considering her own situation, determd to bear up agt this calamity with a heroism, of which I thought her gentle nature hardly capable, & weathd that storm, under which I had almost sunk from apprehension for her. My pecuniary loss was considerable (which I cd ill afford) for even after an allowance made me by the insurance office — My servants cloaths, many of which I had supplied at my mother’s death, were destroyed at the top of the house  (where the fire had begun), & which of course I had again to supply. My wife’s sitn required immediate quiet & attention, & therefore I was obliged to take a furnished house at a very considerable expense, as well as another, for the purpose of business, till my own was repaired & rendered habitable. But it was the will of God thus to chastise me: & I bless his holy name, that so dreadful a calamity was not visited by worse effects — for on the 8th of Sepr my dear Lucy was delivered safely of another little girl, whom I named Elizabeth, from respect to the memory of my dear lately departed mother.
The distress, which women undergo in child bearing, even when surrounded by  every comfort, which affection, love & station can afford, is so great, that it at this time awakened in my mind the sincerest sympathy for those, who not only have not those comforts, but have hardly the the necessaries of life, & who have poverty staring them in the face. These considerations, united with the gratitude I felt for the goodness of Heaven in preserving my dearest Lucy in that dreadful period, after all the calamities of the past months, induced me to become a Govr of that truly Christian institution “The British Lying-In Hospital for Married Women” & to which I have continued to subscribe from that time to this (1828) (1838). Sickness of any kind, especially when connected with poverty & consequent inability to  procure medical aid, is dreadful, & therefore I also became a subscriber to the Public Dispensary for the Sick Poor in Carey St of which I have been now for a long time Vice President. I was also in this year, elected a Govr of the Marine Society for the reception of Vagrant & Distressed Boys for the Sea Service: & also a Member of the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts, at whose meetings, as one of the incorporated members, I now frequently attend.
O my God, may these services for the souls & bodies of my fellow creatures be acceptable in thy sight. May I extend them as my means increase! & may they, thro’ thy grace & the merits of thy blessed Son,  conduce to my eternal happiness. At the close of the year 1793, a considerable house in the City, where the whole of my Uncle, Genl Maclean’s fortune was placed, failed, & he was reduced to comparative poverty. A great distress to me. But how did all this lead me to admire the goodness of God, & to view the severe affliction of my dear mother’s death with more perfect resignation than I had hitherto done; for she was a woman of such strong feelings, that had she lived to witness my great calamity by fired, & my uncle Genl M’s losses, her latter days wd have been greatly embittered, & she might have endured a more cruel species of death than even that, which it pleased God she did endure. I, at this time, was a regular Annual Subscriber to  8 of our best public charities. Praise to God!
I have therefore reason to rejoice, when I reflect that that the close of this year, calamitous as it had been, my professional gains had been such, that I not only paid all demands occasioned by the fire, but increased my charities & still had a surplus. I had also the satisfaction of erecting a tablet in memory of my dear, my ever honored, & lamented mother in Mary Bone Church, then the Parish Church in High St but now only a Chapel of Ease to a much larger church, near at hand: & thus discharged the last sad duty, now in human power to bestow, to the best of parents, & the warmest friend.
In the beginning of the year 1795, I appeared to have reviewed the events of the past year 1794, & to have  made reflections upon them, which I hope have governed the actions of my life, & will, I hope, govern those of my now numerous descendants, who shall see this memorial of affection & therefore expectation. No year shd be supposed to expire without a retrospect: the chief events that have befallen us shd be recollected, & the requisite improvt raised from them by meditation. What preservation from dangers spiritual & temporal; what improvements in religious knowledge or practice; what new blessings granted, or old ones confirmed to myself, my friends, my church, my King or country; & whether my gratitude to Heaven has borne any proportion to the extent of the blessings. When I compare the year 1794 with the one that preceded it, as to my domestic happiness; it has been one  of profound peace; no plague or homble has come nigh me or my dwelling. My most excellent wife & her lovely children have enjoyed almost uninterrupted health, & she & I have this day commenced a fifth year of conjugal felicity, never havg for once instant repined at our crancetion. My dear father has, by God’s blessing on the means ward for his recovery, been recovered from a severe illness, & is likely for some years to continue in the land of the living.
And altho in the course of the year, I have lost some valuable friends, yet that is an event, which a man of extensive acquaintance must almost yearly expect. Their death is graciously intended, as a warning to those who survive; it produces that kind of sorrow, by  which the heart is made better; & we do not feel that despondency, which only becomes those, who have no future hope.
My professional gains have been equal to those of the last year, & I have been enabled to maintain my family gentily, & for the first time to lay by a little money, which, however, I with my wife’s consent, sent to a relation, to purchase rank in the Army.
While the light of Heaven has thus shone upon me & my dwelling, let us also be thankful, that whilst infidelity & atheism are stalking over Europe, God has been graciously pleased still to preserve to us in this Island, the practice of his true religion, & led us to hope that we may still be called a religious nation: & altho’ amidst the  calamities of war, we have greatly suffered, yet let us humbly trust that the defenders of a righteous cause will not have to go away ashamed.
With respect to myself, I last year employed much of my leisure time, in theological studies — & in them I every day find more delight. Bishop Horne’s works are a source of inexhaustible satisfaction. He always speaks from the heart; & by his example, as well as by his wording, one is sure to imbibe the purest practical religion, & the soundest principles of faith. I last year also determined to read the Bible through with attention, & such comments upon it, as were recommended. I began with the new Testament, & have completed that, & all the historical Books of the Old T. I mean by God’s blessing to persevere  & from the pleasure I have reced in the work, I propose not to rest satisfied with a single perusal.
Our best services must ever be imperfect: but I am happy to feel a conscious satisfn & pleasure in the service of my God — I really feel the pleasures of devotion, & am more regular & constant in my private & public devotion: I attend more frequently at the Holy Table of our Lord — & mean, by God’s grace, to persevere. I have revived in my house family prayer on Sundays, which the various distractions of 1793 had interrupted: & I firmly resolve, by the blessing of God, to persevere in these studies & pursuits; praying to him, that my religion may never degenerate into moroseness,  superstition or enthusiasm; but may be cheerful, calm & temperate, founded on the true principles of Christy — love to God, & love to Man for the sake, & by the command, of God.
I did in the year 1794 give £42 to charitable uses. I now propose, by the heavenly blessing on my honest labours, to raise my contributions from half to one guinea, by which my charities will be extended — he that giveth to the Poor, leadeth to the Lord; & my family will not suffer, for whatsoever a man thus layeth out, it shall be paid him again!
In the course of the year 1794, my excellent friend, Mr Justice Buller, quitted the Court of King’s Bench, & exchanged with the Court of Common Pleas  with Mr Justice Lawrence, who was just made a Judge of C P in the stead of Mr Justice Gould (who had filled in 33 years). The causes assigned for this change were various: some said, that Lord Kenyon & he did not agree; but the ostensible reason was ill health. When he removed, he wished me to be made a Serjt in order to go with him: but as I was doing very well, & ad a growing family, I declined running the risk of changing a certainty for hope.
Inasmuch as I have ever since the year 1788 noted down my sentiments & feelings, & my occasional reflections upon the goodness of Providence [31a] to me & mine: & having at times kept a regular journal, all of which are preserved in two paper books — called 1st & 2d Volume — & in 7 others bound beginning at Vol. one again & on to Volume 7 in red, I need now only relate the events of my life — referring my children, if they please to look at them, by which they will see that I was in the habit of calling my ways to remembrance: & that I always have endeavoured to square my actions by the rule of God’s law.
In 1795 many events did not happen, more than I had much cause for deep & unfeigned gratitude. In June of this year [31b] my dear wife was safely delivered of another sweet girl, whom we called Lucy after herself — now Mrs Dickens — herself the mother of 7 dear children. My professional income was so increased that I laid by £800 & laid out £84 in charity, & determined as riches increased, by God’s blessing they should do so, to increase from time to time my benefactions to the poor, that I might not set my heart upon them. Having also been the blessed means this year of rescuing the daughter of a deced BarrBarr from the lower depths of profligacy & wretchedness & placing her in the Magdalen Charity, I became a Govr of that glorious institution, & now that I had so greatly increased my charitable fund, [32a] I prayed to God to direct me in the distribution of it, so as best to promote his glory, & the good of mankind.
I still continued to make theology, particularly the practical, the study of my leisure hours. This year finished my reading the whole Bible. I now again began the New Testament with commentators. I read Bishop Watson’s Answer to the reprobate Thos Paine, & Norsley’s charge to the clergy of his diocese of Rochester with infinite pleasure; in the latter work, my idea of what is meant or to be understood by the term natural religion is well & admirably explained. I have also been engaged in the perusal of Barrow’s Works, & other eminent divines. But my constant guide & companion was the great & good [32b] Bishop Horne, whose precepts were so exemplified by his good life, that we see virtue & religion personified in him.
In the year 1796 I subscribed to the charity for the assistance of married women lying in at home, & gave £10 towards fitting out a young man for the East Indies, & I doubled my subscription to sevl of the charities which I befriended. This year the Governors of the Magdalen chose to elect me one of their regular Committee, which tho’ rather burdensome in the midst of professional duties I determined to attend as much as possible, being convinced, from the opportunity I have had of seeing its internal arrangement, it is now one of the most glorious institutions  in the kingdom, having a regard both to the spiritual & temporal necessities of the most to be pitied of all human creatures. The first Thursday in every month is for the admission of fit applicants — & every Thursday in the year, the Committee meet for the regulation of the house, & the conduct of every woman in the house; & how she has been occupied is weekly reported. I came to the resolution this year of never turning my back on the Sacrament, when it is to be administered, thus determining to endeavour so to square my life in the intervals as to be always prepared.
I also this year qualified myself as a Life Govr at the Magdalen by the payment of 20 guineas in one sum. My benefactions altogr came to £130 — but my gains in my profession were so blessed as to amt to near £2000.
 I can now truly say, that all these blessings of my divine Master were my continual reflection. I delighted more & more in the Society of those, who were eminent for piety & virtue, & no books pleased me more than those written respecting the lives of those, who departed this life full of faith & good works: & tho’ I learned to imitate, I continually felt, how far short I fell continually of their good example. I read Law’s Serious call to a holy life, & an excellent work of Lucas, On happiness, to which latter I have read thrice since: once when confined to my bed 6 weeks under a serious operation, & a third time this present year (1828).
On the 25th Feb 1797 my dear wife was delivered of a fourth daughter, called Catharine Jane, & a sweet little babe she was: but she was a loan from the Lord only for a short time, for being inoculated for the small pox (vaccination  not having then been known) she died on the 7th of August to the inexpressible grief of my dearest Lucy & myself — I being then on the Circuit. I wrote from thence to desire she might be buried in Mary Bone Church Yd near to my dear Mother: & my Father, who was on the spot, was kind enough to see this duly performed.
I was now, blessed be God, in the receipt of above £2000 a year, with, I trust, an unsullied chary & when I considered the low beginnings from which I began, & the early struggles I had to encounter, & which I trust in God, I never shall forget, my gratitude to the Father of mercies knows no bounds.
I lately had occasion to pass by a house, in which, I lived with my parents in great distress, & at that moment comparing my present with my former condition, I had nearly fallen down in the street  upon my knees, in an extacy of gratitude to that Gracious Being, whose providence has so wonderfully protected me from my youth until now, & has raised me so highly in the opinion of my fellow men.
In March of this year, I sat upon the Bench at Lancaster, as one of the judges of assize, for Mr Justice Rooke & charged the grand jury for him, & then took occasion to impress upon their minds, & those of the bye standers , the great duty, in these degenerate days of enforcing religious & moral obligs by their own example by their lives & conduct. This was so well received, that I had the unanimous thanks of the Grand Jury with a request from them that I wd print my charge. But as I was only occasionally called upon to assist the judge, I declined.
I this year read the work of an earnest dissenter, Dr Dodd
gridge, entitled “The rise & progress of religion in the soul”, with  infinite pleasure. I heard the late Bishop of Durham (Dr Barrington) say, that that book had done most essential good, & he could repeat most of the prayers in it; one of which he did repeat to me, when his Lordship was near 90 years of age with a pious feeling & pathos, which I never can forget. Upon his recommendation, in an humble sense of my own unworthiness to appear before God, acknowledging my own manifold offences, & trusting only in the merits & atonement of my great Redeemer, I solemnly surr[ende?]r & dedicate myself & all that I have to God, to be used entirely for his Glory, & to be resolutely employed in they divine commands, O Lord, as long as I live, with an ardent desire & hope to continue them thro’ the bound up[?] ages of eternity. Use me, O Lord, I beseech thee, as an instrument of thy service, & number me amongst thy peculiar[?] people. Let me be douthed[?] with  the righteousness of Christ, & sanctified by the Holy Spirit. And when the solemn hour of death comes may I rem[embe]r this dedication of myself to thee with comfort; & do Thou remember it with mercy. In that moment of dissolving[?] nature, look down with pity upon thy languishing serv[an]t[?] — put strength & confidence in my departing spirit, & receive it to the abode of them that sleep in[?] the Lord, there joyfully to wait the accomplishment of thy great promise to all thy people, even that of a glorious resurrection & eternal happiness — And when I am numbered with the dead, if any of my surviving children or friends should meet with these memories of my solemn meditations with Thee, may they be the means of making serious impressions on their minds: may they[?] read them as their own, & learn to fear thee our God & with me to put their trust[?] under the shadow of thy wings for time, & for eternity. May they also  learn to adore that grace, which inclines the heart to enter into cov[enan?]t with God, & permits us, so[?] enter, when we are inclined; ascribing with me & all nations[?] of the redeemed to the Father, Son & Holy Ghost, three divine persons, in one glorious Godhead, honour, praise & glory for ever, Amen.
Out of 67 women, who left the Magdalen in 1797 — 44 were restored to friends, or placed in creditable services.
In 1798 — words being too poor to express my gratitude to God for all his mercies — & he having been pleased to declare[?] that the mercy we shew [sic] to our poor brethren, he will consider as done to himself, I determined besides one gu[i]n[ea] & a half, which I set apart weekly for charitable uses as a kind of deadand[?] from professional receipts, to give one tenth of all the interest I receive from money actually laid by.
 And finding that this year my professional gains exceeded £3400, a sum so far exceeding my hopes and certainly, far, very far exceeding my deserts [sic], and afraid that as the blessings of God poured in so fast upon me, I should be overpowered by prosperity, & my heart grow hardened, I raised my weekly contribution from 1 1/2 gu[i]n[eas] to two guineas per week, besides occasional sums on festivals, family birthdays, & other occasions. I gave away last year in charity £180.
The scourge of impiety, atheism & rebellion, which was now overwhelming Europe by permission of Almighty God, attacked Ireland also, & an invasion of this happy land was threatened. Accordingly every friend to order & good gov[ernmen]t[?] armed in defence of religion & law.  And I, though of a very infirm constitution, joined the glorious throng; was one of the founders of the Bloomsbury & Inns of Court Association, & was one of the committee for conducting its finances &c, but refused to be more than a private in the ranks. We were a corps of 1200, composed of many of the most wealthy men of our profession, merchants &c. A great many of our then Association have since filled the highest official[?] seats, & at the time I write this (1828) five of the present judges were members of that corps — & almost all the now[?] judges members of other corps. Our motto was Nolumus legus[?] auglice[?] mutari. It certainly occasioned us to work very hard. I was up at 5 every morning[,]  in the field at six, continued there till 8, returned to breakfast, went[?] to discharge my professional duties at Westm[inste?]r Hall or Guildhall, came home to dinner, dressed as a soldier; in the field again from 6 till 8 & then returned to professional occupation till bed time. The Minister in 1798 also laid on such a tax on expenditure, as was deemed equal to 1/10 of each man’s income, to enable him to prepare resistance to the threatened invasion. But as I then lived at a very small rent[?], & kept neither horses nor carriage, my assessment fell far short of a tenth of my income: & therefore I voluntarily contributed £110, & notwithstand[in]g this, I was, by God’s blessing  upon my industry, enabled to maintain my family comfortably, to answer every call of charity &[?] to lay by £1100 & to have at the end of the year 1000 £ in hand.
In 1798, I lost many valuable friends. Amongst the rest, my dear Mother’s brother, Gen[era]l Allan Maclean, who living to a goold old age, died in Feb[ruary] 1798, leaving my cousin (now Gen[era]l) Maclean & myself his residuary legatees[?] — and tho’ he has left his weak[?] & infatuated wife a great deal of property absolutely — & every thing for her life — & a pension from Gov[?]n for his services (settled upon her) of £300 per ann[um], she is not satisfied with this; she has commenced a suit in chancery[?] thus spending the money in law,  to attain an object, which she might have had from my cousin & me for the asking for. For I told my counsel merely to say, that whatever the Master of the Rolls ordered, I was ready to perform.
In a month after my uncle died my valuable young friend, the Rev[eren]d John Hunter, son of Alex[ande]r Hunter M.D. of York, also departed this life — he left me the guardian of his children, one of whom was posthumous. Those children are now long since married — his wid[ow] married again, & that husb[an]d I believe is also dead. As to myself, I sustained great bodily pain, from a disorder, which I had from my boyish days. My volunteering increased my sufferings, for I did not, without pain, endure much  bodily fatigue. At that time I did not expect to live to be an old man: but it has pleased God that I should live (now in my 66th year). I am on the whole in better health than ever; & I hope since the year 1798 — now thirty years, I have been enabled to do some good to the rising generation.
I determined, with my dear wife to give up all Sunday entertainments, except to a few young men, who have no objection to my decent & quiet manner of spending my Sunday evenings, & joining in family devotion, such as J Richardson (afterw[ard]s Mr Justice Richardson)[,] Mr Nobhouse[?] (afterw[ard]s Under Secretary of State & now a Privy Counsellor) & such like. I also resolved not to dine out on Sundays, a  rule which I have rarely broken. I had read[?] for books of amusement Barrurd’s[?] history of Jacobinism, the works of my learned friend Mr Jones of Nayland — & Manicis[?] hist[ory] of Hindustan, shewing [sic] how the early records of that country fully confirmed the Moscie[?] history.
My worthy & excellent friend Mr Stevens made me a pres[en?]t of Parkhard’s[?] Greek Lexicon; & I therefore mean to revive my knowledge of the Greek tongue, at least so far as to be able to read with ease, the Holy Scriptures of the new Testament in their orij[ina]l language.
In the spring of this year 1799 on account of Mr Baron (afterw[ar]d Lord Chief Baron) Thomson’s indipos[itio]n I sat for 3 whole days as criminal judge at Lancaster, & I have good  reason to hope that I discharged that duty to the satisfaction of the Bar & of the County. It was moreover a painful duty; for for the first time I passed the sentence of death upon a fellow creature, whom I knew from the circumstances, I should be obliged to leave for execution. Even now, when I have had to discharge this painful task over & over again, since I have been one of the 12 of his Majesty’s Supreme Judges, I never can do so without being sensibly & painfully affected.
My wife, on my return to town, I found comfortably settled in a pretty small house[?] I had taken[?] at Barnes in Surrey: & my wife & I laid down a plan of conduct which we were determined steadily to pursue, from a sense of duty to  to [sic] ourselves, our children, & above all to God; & also with a view to example in a Parish, where tho’ my house was small, in point of rank I was one of the heads[?] of the parish.
We determined to have prayers every Sunday morn[in]g at 8 AM[?] that all the family may have time to get ready for church. We mean to attend church twice a day (a practice which blessed by God I have followed ever since, with very few exceptions), whether friends are with us or not; & end the day with a sermon & family prayers. We also determined never to turn our back upon the Holy Table[?], unless absolute necessity required it. We soon saw the effect of our example; for when I first began the practice of going to church in the  afternoon, not a gentleman’s family but my own was to be seen there; but soon 3 or 4 families attended; & at last a respectable congregation was formed.
In June of this year 1799 my worthy friend Mr Chambre, with whom I had travelled on the Northern Circuit ever since I began it — nearly 13 years, was raised to be a Baron of Exchequer. This having made a great opening on the Northern Circuit, where Mr Chambre was completely a leader (though not a King’s Counsel) he & several of my friends urged me to apply to the Lord Chancellor (Lonchborough[?], afterwards Earl of Roslyn) to be appointed one of his Majesty’s Counsel, an honour, to solicit which had never crossed my own imagination. However, I did apply: but my Lord Chancellor before he mentioned me  to His Majesty, referred to Lord Kenyon (who amongst others had been most urgent with me to make the application) as the Chief Justice of the Court, in which I practised, to know of his approval. That noble & warmhearted friend & well wisher was pleased to write to the Lord Chancellor concerning me, in terms so honorable to me as a lawyer; & above all, so flattering to me as a man, that I could only humbly adore my Maker for so distinguishing me, & daily pray for his constant supply of grace to enable me to act in such a manner, as to deserve these commendations. Lord Kenyon’s letter, which he was pleased to shew me, was sent on the 1st of July, the next day I received, thro’ the Lord Chancellor, his Majesty’s commends[?], & next day (3[r]d July) I was sworn  in [as] one of His Majesty’s Council. Here then was another new epocha [sic] in my life — & looking back from this to me most unexpected eminence, how most wonderful have been all God’s dispensations of grace, mercy, goodness & loving kindness. What reward shall I give unto the Lord, for all the mercies he has shewed me. I resolved & re-resolved faithfully & zealously to devote myself to his service — & the good of mankind.
It was necessary that, under the Test[?] act, I should receive the Holy Sacrament within 3 months after my appointment, in the presence of witnesses[?], who could depose to the same.
I thought I could not better prepare myself for that celebration for such a purpose,  than by considering it as a solemn act of devotion, imposed upon myself, by way of thanksgiving, for all the temporal blessings, which God had thus heaped upon one of the lowliest of his creatures; & there, at his holy altar, to renew & confirm all the good resolutions I had ever made for advancing his glory upon earth[.] For I well knew it to be more & more my duty, as I advanced in worldly power & station, to set a good example; & to let my light so shine, that others, by my example, may also be led to glorify their Heavenly Father. I therefore felt that as my professional conduct had hitherto been without stain it was then becom [sic] my more peculiar duty not only to preserve myself pure in my profession, but to discountenance all chicanery & deceit in others: & while I preserved a  dignified & upright conduct, to be condescending, affable & easy of access: & above all things both by my example & discourse, as far as possible, both publicly & privately, to make my professional situation, subservient to the cause of religion & virtue. I also again resolved, in conformity to what it will be found I had determined, when there was little probability I should ever attain the situation to put the resolution into practice (see ante[?] vol. 1. p. 54) I never would appoint or attend a legal consultation, on Sunday unless some unforeseen circumstance should render it necessary: but never during divine service. I also then re-resolved as I had before done, by God’s blessing, to shew myself the friend & protector & patron of all young men, who are inclined to distinguish  themselves by the soundness of their principles, the purity of their conduct, & their attention to their studies. I at this period of my life, and even now, blessed[?] be God, know many such, who are my constant companions, so that I may say, I am a companion, O God, of all them that fear thee. I also then determined above all, but by the same divine aid, to be the friend, the patron & the protector of the poor; to dedicate all my spare hours to the purposes of religion & charity; & in the study of divinity — & in the practice of it to the best of my powere — I then concluded these solemn resolutions, with a prayer to Almighty God, that he would enable me, with these vows & resolutions, to approve[?] his Altar[?]; that the Service, I should then render might be acceptable; that these resolutions might be confirmed by his  approbation; & that I might be enabled by a continuance of his blessing & loving kindness, to carry them into effect.
Accordingly, on Sunday the 22[n]d Sept[embe]r I went to St Martin’s Church, & there received with devotion the blessed communion of the Body & Blood of Christ. In Church, another circumstance occurred to my mind, which filled my soul with the deepest & most grateful feelings to God — St Martin’s Church was the first I ever was in when I came to London, 28 years before, when between 7 & 8 years old, a poor distressed boy, sitting on the very steps of that altar, where I was then kneeling, in my present dignified station, owing to the distressed state of my dear parents. When I contrasted the two conditions, I felt my soul quite overpowered with the  sense of the divine goodness, & determined more than ever to adhere to my good resolutions.
On the 6th Nov[embe]r Mr Baron Chambre[?] & I attended his Majesty’s (King George the Third) levee[?], & kissed hands upon[?] our respective promotions. The King received us very graciously, & in his usual affable, & kind, condescending manner, conversed with us both a full quarter of an hour. When I was sworn into my office in July, the Lord Chancellor told me he had left Lord Kenyon’s letter respecting me with the King, & that would be my best introduction. This may account for His Majesty’s grace & benignity; for I believe he respected no man in his Kingdom more than Lord Kenyon.
We kissed Her Majesty’s (Queen[?] Charlotte) hand at the drawing room on the following day.
 Having, as will be seen in p. 3. of these accompanying volumes [sic — this volume], when I accepted the office of Vice Chancellor of Lancaster, declined to act as a barrister in that County; & being now one of His Majesty’s Counsel, my friends thought that by not returning to the Bar, at Lanc[aste]r I was sustaining a great pecuniary loss. I was therefore at the end of this year to resign my office of Vice Chancellor into the hands of him who conferred it on me. His Lordship was pleased to say, that he was much grieved to part with me, as I had for 8 years & a half discharged the duties of the office to his entire satisfaction & with great honour to myself.
From this time forward, my time was most actively employed in most laborious duties of my profession; for I almost immediately after, my promotion to the rank of King’s Counsel, came into  the fullest possible business, both in London, & on the Northern Circuit, particularly on the Circuit; because in 1801, Mr Law, the then Leader of it, quitted it, on being promoted to the Rank of Attorney General, after which I had only one great competitor, Mr Jerie[?] Cockell[?]. My 2[n]d daughter Elizabeth died April 1801.
In April 1802 my dear & valuable friend & patron, Lord Kenyon died at Bath, & was succeeded by Mr Law, who was then created Lord Ellenboro’ upon whose promotion the Bishop of Durham (Dr Barrington) promoted me to the Attorney Generalship of the County Palatine of Durham, which I continued to hold till my promotion to the Bench.
Mr Law’s promotion to the Chief Justiceship left the office of Attorney General of Lancaster open, to which  Mr Jerys[?] Cockell[?] (being King’s Serjeant & therefore taking precedence of me, being only King’s Counsel) was appointed — & tho’ it be out of time to mention it now, yet it closes this part of the subject — for upon Mr Serj[ean?]t Cockell’s death in 1812 — my dear & deeply lamented friend, Mr Percival, being then Chancellor of the Duch of Lancaster, promoted me to be the Attorney General of that County, so that when I was called to the Bench in 1816, I held the office of Attorney General both of Durham & Lancaster.
Having always thought that the neglect of the Holy Sacrament, especially by young persons, was a great cause of the prevailing vice & dissipation[?] about the end of the year 1803 or beginning of 1804; I published  a small tract, in the form of a letter addressed to a particular friend (who, tho’ a good young man, had neglected that sacred rite) entitled An earnest exhortation to a frequent reception of the Lord’s supper, addressed particularly to young persons & certainly it produced the desired effect upon the person to whom it was written. I hope also upon many more; for having it [sic] shewn it to my eloquent & most excellent friend Dr Gerrard Andrewes[?] Dean of Canterbury, Rector of St James’s — he insisted upon my dispersing it — & accordingly in one year & a half above 6000 copies of it were dispersed. & since neal[?] to[?] the period when I am now writing (1831), above 40,000 copies have been disseminated, & I have  had assurances very lately from many eminent divines — viz — the learned & excellent Bishop of Durham (Dr Van Mildert) Dr Hodgson (Dean of Carlisle) — the Rev[eren]d Mr Andrews[?] (son of the late Dean) of the great[?] quantity of good it has effected, by bringing many to the Holy Table. For many years, I published it at my sole expence [sic]; & during that time above 30,000 had been dispersed. But at that time the Society for promoting Xtian Knowledge were pleased so to think of it, as to be desirous of putting it on their catalogue, which has been done: how many they have sent about I cannot say  with certainty; but from what I hear, I should think not less than 10,000, making in the whole about 40,000.
I should have mentioned that in August 1800, my eldest son, James Allan was born, & in July 1802, my second son Alex[ande]r Atherton Park — both of whom have so conducted themselves, as I bless[?] God all my six children have done, as never to give me one moment’s uneasiness — sound in principles, firmly & zealously attached to the sound orthodox doctrines of the Church of England, pure and correct in their morals, most dutiful to their excellent mother & myself & most devotedly & beautifully affectionate to each other. Blessed be God, a more united family in love & affection I have never known.
In May 1804, Emma, one of those  six was born — & W[illia]m Waldegrave, my youngest son was born in Dec[embe]r 1806[?].
In the month of Oct[obe]r 1804, my dear & venerable father departed this life in the 75th year of his age, having survived my mother 11 years. He was a mild, placid man — a great reader, fond, in his latter days, of playing with my children — a kind friend & a most sincere Christian. I think I never recollect his speaking an angry word; I am sure he never did to me. I buried him with my dearest mother, & my two daughters, Elizabeth & Catharine, in a vault in Mary leBone Church Yard.
In the year 1805, the great Admiral Lord Nelson fell at the Battle of Trafalgar;  and his body was brought home, & buried with great funeral pomp in St Paul’s. But my excellent friend, Admiral Lord Radstock, who at the funeral, acted as one of the supporters to Sir Peter Parker, the Chief Mourner, as Admiral of the Fleet, wished to bestow upon the brave seamen of England, some lasting memorial of their country’s maritime fame[?]; & accordingly he sent to the press a word[?], called “The British flag triumphant, or The wooden walls of old England: Being copies of the London gazettes, containing the accounts of the great victories & gallant exploits of the British fleets during the last & present war”. His Lordship being desirous to excite the brave  Tars[?] to religious feelings by a due consideration of these things; & to nozy[?] them to a deep reliance upon God for his protection in all the dangers to which their situation exposed to them, desired that I would write “An address to the officers, seamen & marines of His Majesty’s fleets”. I did so, & accordingly it is prefixed to the work, signed A Landsman, consisting of about 10 pages — & which I am happy to have learnt gave great satisfaction.
I shall not think it necessary to write the remaining part of this memoir; but in a very summary manners; for upon looking back at 2 paper books, which will be found with seven other volumes inked[in Red?],  the workings of my mind will be seen, & a general diary or journal with a few intermissions till the year 1820. Besides which, after I got into so much business as a King’s Counsel, things flowed on much in the same manner. I shall therefore content myself now with putting down only principal events — my chief object in writing these two books, called “Some account of myself &c” being to shew my children from what low & sad beginnings, it pleased God to raise me to affluence, & dignity; & to mark for their improvement & instruction the wonderful workings of his providence.
 In Dec[embe]r of this year, my dear son William Waldegrave Park was born, & took his christian names from his late grand uncle William, and Waldegrave from his godfather, Lord Radstock who attended his baptism in F[athe?]r Giles’s church. And I may as well mention it now, that being a clergyman, he first did duty as a Minister of God in thy church, where he had been baptized — & he preached his first sermon that very day on which 23 years before he had been baptized. The same fact, as the latter one viz — the first sermon being preached on his very baptismal day, happened to my beloved eldest son, James Allan Park — now Rector of Elwick Hall in the County of Durham of which hereafter.
 In Feb[ruary] 1807 I & all the Christian world sustained an irreparable upn[?] the death of my dear & much loved friend, Mr Stevens in his 75th year: but the acc[oun]t is so fully detailed, & the feelings of my mind so fully expressed in the 2[n]d vol[ume] of my diary, that I cannot do better than transcribe it.
On the 6th of Feb[ruary] in the evening Richardson (now Sir John Richardson) called on me & told me that Mr Stevens had been exceedingly well all the morning, but just as he was getting into his carriage at 4 o’clock to go to Richardson’s to dinner, he was struck to the heart, & it was thought he could not live. At 11 o’[clock?] at night I sent to Richardson, who had been to Broad St[reet] & the answer, he was not expected to live thro’ the night. I then read[?] two prayers in the office for the visit[atio]n of the sick — one, where there are small hopes of recovery — the other, the  commendatory prayer. I ordered my coach to be ready at 8 o’[clock?] in the morning & went to bed.
Feb[ruary] 7. I read the same prayers from the Visitation Office, & just as I was getting into my carr[iage] I learnt that this excellent man had been called to his reward about[?] 3 o’[clock?] in the morning. However, I went on to Broad St[reet] where I found the good Mr Bowdler, who had been going with him to Mr Richardson’s, when my dear departed friend received the death blow, & he remained with him, during the whole or the greatest part of the night. The death of this faithful serv[an]t of God was just what it could be wished to be. Full of pity towards God, & good deeds to Man, particularly to the clergy, beloved & revered by his friends, both old & young, he died without much pain, a struggle or a groan. He slept the greater part of the evening, & at 12 he awaked. Mr Bowdler then offered to repeat a prayer  from the visitat[io]n service, & did so, & when he used the words “give him comfort & sure confidence in thee[”]; the worthy & dying Christian distinctly & feelingly said, Amen. He never spoke again till the clock struck three, when grasping the hand of an attendant, he said My hour is come, good God, & fell asleep, never more to awake, but in Eternity. Oh, blessed end of a most holy & virtuous life. May I be as well prepared to die, as my most excellent friend; & may my latter end be like his! The conversation — the principles & example of this devout Christian, have been constantly before me for 18 years. I bless God for this. I trust & humbly believe I have greatly profited by him, tho’ I fear not so much as I ought. His cheerful disposition gave a winning air to his goodness — & young and old delighted in his company. Grant, O God, that I may ever hold[?] out thy  ways to others[?] as pleasant & delightful. May I always set a good example to my dearest wife, to my children, my servants & my friends; & may I like my dear friend, now departed, be the happy means of turning many to righteousness.
I shall hear [sic] close all I have to say concerning this ever to be lamented & never to be forgotten friend. I wrote[?] a hasty sketch of his life, which I inserted in the Gentleman’s Magazine. This sketch afforded so much satisfaction to friends of him, who had thus been taken out of this sinful world, that I published, at their earnest desire, a volume of considerable size, giving his history. This was at my own sole expence [sic]; I printed 500 copies, to disperse amongst  his friends. A second edition being called for, I printed another at my sole expence, dedicating it to the Right Rev[eren]d Bishop Skinner, the then Primus Scotice Episcopus. But I ordered this nowhere[?] to be sold — paid the expences & dedicated the gross profits to the benefit of that valuable portion of the Church of Christ, over which Bishop Skinner presided.
Since that, the Society have formed a catalogue of various amusing works, to be distributed at low prices, for the amusement, as well as the religious improvement, of the poor — & have requested me to allow a small & less expensive edition of my memoir of the dear & good Mr Stevens to be placed upon their catalogue, thinking it will be  productive of good. I have assented accordingly, & I believe immense numbers of it have been dispersed. I am sure the principles are sound, & such a burning & shining light, as Mr Stevens was, as a lay Member of the[?] church, must produce some good. May God grant it, & to his name be the[?] praise.
The Society thought adding my name to the title page might promote its sale; to that also I assented.
When preparing the third edition of this little work for the press, my excellent friend, Mr Bowdler, who had attended the dying bed of our friend, Mr Stevens, departed this life; & therefore I added a supplement of 8 or 9 pages, description of Mr Bowdler’s beautfiful Chad[?]r.  Since that his excellent son, the Rev[eren]d Tho[ma]s Bowdler, has given the world a full & faithful account of his worthy father. The Rev[eren]d T. Bowdler is Rector of Addington in Kent, & my youngest son W[illia]m Waldegrave is his curate.
In Mr Stevens’ lifetime, viz — in the year 1800 many of his friends, & the admirer of his principles, determined to institute a club in his honor [sic]: & accordingly in that year we met; & he presided. He had published sev[era]l excellent tracts at different times anonymously; & having collected them into a volume, with his usual modesty he called them Καν&eacgr;νας &Eacgr;ργα the Works of Nobody — & hence his friends were in the habit of calling himself Καν&eacgr;νας or Nobody. Accordingly, we  denominated our meeting Nobody’s Club, & since the death of our friend, we call it the Club of Nobody’s Friends.
This club has now been in existence 32 years (25 of which have passed since the death of him in whose honour it was granted) and the desire to become a member is every year increasing. We have only a limited number (46) but men who profess the same principles in Church and State are desirous to flock[?]. We have had judges, bishops, deans, archdeacons, clergy, lawyers &c — & now, 4 of the most distinguished English prelates, 3 judges, 2 colonial bishops &c &c belong to us.
 My object in putting together these two little volumes called “Some account of myself &c” being accomplished, namely[?] to shew my children from what very unlikely & sad beginnings; from what great poverty & distress, by the goodness of Almighty God, I have been raised to affluence, to character & dignity; & also to impress upon their minds, the duty of humility, & entire[?] trust in God — & of ascribing all they have, & all they hope for, to his mercy & goodness — & also to induce them to submit in all their sufferings, privations, & affliction, to his will, assured that all things shall work together for good, whether it at present appear to be joyous or grievous, to those who fear God, I shall  now do little more than mention from time to time any remarkable events that have recurred in my now long & unexpectedly protracted life.
It becomes the less[?] necessary that I should be diffuse here; because in 2 paper books & 7 red leather books of a journal, my actions are fully detailed (with some chasms[?]) from day to day till the end of the year 1821. And upon looking over those journals during this Christmas retirement at Merton Grove (1831) I intend to begin it again, as an amusement & improvement (I hope) also on Sunday next 1 January 1832.
On 13 June 1814, I sustained a very severe loss by the death of of [sic] my dear & excellent friend,  Henry Burrell, who I trust now rests in peace & will hereafter rise in glory. I received the Holy Sacrament with him just before he died — after which he embraced me & said, none but himself could tell the good which I had done to him by my advice, & that if he did not rise from that bed, a better man, he hoped it would please God to call him to himself. And so he did: but the remembrance of this just man is blessed: & the virtues & image of this dear friend I never can forget.
I this year sustained another severe loss in the decease of my dear & excellent uncle, L[ieutenan]t Col[onel] Park, but not an unlooked for dissolution; for he died the 3[r]d Nov[embe]r 1814 at Brighton aged 75 years & 5 months. I was engaged in business at Guildhall, when I received an account of the state he was in.  I immediately set out with my daughter Mary for Brighton; but found the spirit had departed before I got thither. The Colonel was a man universally beloved & respected — some warmth & vehemence of temper, but of a kind & benevolent disposition — & as far as his opportunities went, I believe, a sincere Christian.
I buried him at Brighton on the 9th Nov[embe]r. The vicar, Dr Carr, my now friend, the Bishop of Worcester, performed the service.
On the 12th Jan[uar]y 1816, I received a letter from Lord Chancellor Eldon to inform me that my excellent friend, Sir Alan Chambre had, on account of age, resigned his office as a Judge of the Common Pleas the night before; & that if I thought proper to accept it, he would write to the Prince Regent (who was at Brighton) to recommend me. I accordingly accepted it & on Monday the 22[n]d of January I was created a Serjeant at Law, a ncecessary step to  the office of a Common Law Judge, & was sworn into my office on the 24th January & the same day took my seat on the Bench, where I have sat till now (end of 1831). I was knighted by the Prince Regent on 13 May[?] 1816.
In Sept[ember] 1816, the Rev[eren]d Philemerz[?] Powell[?] Bastard then Curate of South Mimms (now Rector of Hamwick[?] in Middlesex) married my eldest daughter Mary Anne, with whom I paid a portion of £5000. They were married in Wimbledon Church, the then Bishop of London (Dr Howley[?]) now Archbishop of Canterbury, coming from Fulham[?] to perform the cermony.
The Society for Enlarging Churches & Chapels, of which Mr Bowdler & I were great promoters, I may truly say, founders, was created a little before this time; & it has done incalculable good.
In the year 1878 I picclided[?] in another plan for enlarging our Church at  Wimbledon, there being no accommodation for the lower orders, & without adding to the external structure. By throwing down several internal obstructions, which quite shut[?] out the most beautiful church from the congregation, & by erecting two galleries, we have at the expense of about £460 raised by private subscription, of which Lord Spencer gave £100, & his consent to the alteration, as Lay Rector, without which it c[oul]d not have been done, & I gave £30, we procured accommodation for about 150 of the poorer inhabitants, without imposing any additional Church Rate, or burden upon the inhabitants. I had before that subscribed to the purchase of an organ, which, tho’ not a capital one, has produced a better kind of psalmody than existed, when I came into the Parish.
In Oct[obe]r 1818, my dear James Allan went  went [sic] to reside at Balliol Coll[ege] Oxford, of which Dr Parsons, Bishop of Peterboro’ was then Head: but he died while James Allan was there, & was succeeded by my valued friend Dr Jenkyns, who at first was James’s tutor.
In the end of Oct[obe]r 1818, Lord Ellenborough resigned his office of Chief Justice of the King’s Bench, on acc[oun]t of ill health, & was succeeded by my excellent brother judge, Sir Charles Abbott — now Lord Tenterden[?] — & at the same time Lord Ch[ief?] Justice Gibbs, for the same cause, resigned the Com[mo]n Pleas & was succeeded by my Brother Judge, Mr Justice Dallas. The former departed this life in Dec[embe]r following & was buried in the Chapel of the Charter House, where he had been educated.
In the month of March 1819, my dear & much valued friend, Sir Walter Farquhar[?] Bar[?]t died, at a very advanced age. I have always considered that to him, under the permission of a gracious  Providence, I am indebted for much of my success, & for my present station in life. He was the person, who introduced me to Lord Mansfield — & no man rejoiced more than he did, to see me elevated to my present condition. Sorry was I, that tho’ invited to pay my last respects to this much loved friend, my public duty at Kingston Assizes would not permit.
On the 29th Jan[uar]y 1820, our good and beloved sovereign Geo[rge] 3 died at Windsor in the 82[n]d year of his age & the 60th of his reign. No prince had ever reigned so long. No Prince was ever more beloved. None ever set a better example in every relation of life — husband, father, master, friend. & above all, he was an humble & sincere Christian.
I, as one of the Judges, attended our late Monarch’s funeral at Windsor on the 15th February, the Duke of York, chief mourner.
 In February also died, Sir V[icary] Gibbs, late Ch[ief] Justice of the Common Pleas. He was one of the most acute[?] men & one of the most learned lawyers of his time: but without[?] tho’ perfectly honorable, upright & essentially good, yet of most harsh and unamiable manners.
In the course of the year 1820 by the death of Lady Park’s uncle, an old bachelor — & in a few months after of her brother Mr E. Atherton, who was the first devisee[?] of his uncle, I, by virtue of old Mr Atherton’s will, & my family, became possessed of a great acquisition of fortune.
On the 26th April 1821, my dear second daughter Lucy, was married in St Giles’s Church to W[illia]m Dickens Esq. of Lincolns Inn[?] — barrister at law, & of Cherington[?] in Warwickshire. His father a clergyman (now dead) was one of my dear & early  intimate friends, as were[?] his two uncles, Charles Jerece[?] Dickens & Thomas Dickens. I was introduced to this family in the year 1784, & did[?] Mr Dickens & his excellent Lady, one of the best informed & most amiable women I have ever known, always treated me more like a child than a mere acquaintance, & particularly the latter. I little thought then, that a grandson of that excellent couple would become my son in law.
Mr Dickens tried to live in London for about a year or more after his marriage: but he found London did not agree with him; & he therefore retired to the original family property in Cherington, which his great uncle left to him: & where he is now, mast advantageously for the country fulfilling the duties of a Justice of the Peace. Old Mrs Dickens had been  godmother in the year 1793 to my second daughter Elizabeth — & she & my dear Elizabeth died the same day in April 1801.
In the year 1823 (in the month of January) my eldest son James Allan, who is intended for holy orders, married Miss Mary Dickens, youngest sister of his brother in law W. Dickens, who is a most excellent & virtuous young lady & is well calculated to make him happy — & he is one of the best of young men. She has at the time I am writing this (Dec[embe]r 1831) already presented him with 3 daughters & 2 sons — & my daughter Dickens is also now the mother of 4 sons & 4 daughters.
 My dear son, James Allan, having always been intended both by me & by himself to serve at God’s altar, was appointed curate to his brother in law Mr Bastard at Hanworth[?], and accordingly the Bishop of London, in whose diocese Hanworth[?] is, having at the time no ordination himself, sent my dear son with letters dimessory[?] to the Bishop of Gloucester at Gloster[?]. Alex[ande]r & I accompanied my dear youth, & had the pleasure of seeing him ordained to the holy office of deacon in the Church of God in Sept[embe]r 1823. We afterwards dined with the Bishop & set out the next morning for Merton Grove.
In the following Sept[embe]r 1824, he was ordained  a priest upon the same title[?] at Fulham[?] Palace, in the Episcopal Chapel, by Dr Howley[?] (then Bishop of London, now Archbishop of Canterbury[)]: & at the desire of his Lordship, he preaced the ordination sermon, which I, by the Bishop’s permission had the happiness of hearing. We afterwards dined with his Lordship.
About this time, my dear boy became Curate of Little Marlow, where he was quite beloved & his memory is respected there to this day.
It is a very singular circumstance that all my children, who are now married (and all are, except my youngest son) should have married the sons or daughters of old friends.
 Sir Frederick Morton Eden bar[rister?] & I were most intimately acquainted, being young lawyers nearly of an age; he & his lady died some years ago — his eldest son, after his father’s death was killed in the Peninsular War; & the title descended to the next brother Sir William Eden, now a bachelor. The next brother Robert fell in my way — & he paid his addresses to my third daughter Emma; & accordingly he married her in Sept[embe]r 1827. He afterwards entered into Holy Orders, & a more excellent & exemplary young clergyman there cannot be. He has already one son & 2 daughters.
About this time my son Alex[ande]r  was called to the Bar.
In the month of Dec[embe]r 1828, my venerable friend, the Bishop of Durham (Dr Van Mildert) wrote to offer me a living in his Diocese for my dear son, James Allan. It was said to be £700 a year: but it certainly does not produce any thing like that at present. I went down with my son, & spent 2 very pleasant days with my excellent friend at Auckland Castle — & my son was collated[?] to the Rectory of Elwick Hall — & we went over together, & he was inducted. He has since built a beautiful house there — he has at the Bishop’s desire become a Magistrate — he has introduced two services into his Church, &  I am happy to say universally respected, as he was at Marlow.
A person named Brown, a most highly respectable merchant had been intimate in my father’s family & mine ever since 1779. Indeed my uncle Colonel Park, when he came from India, in 1784 married a cousin of Mr Brown: & as I have said of my children intermarrying amongst our old friends — in July 1829 — my son Alexander married Miss Mary Brown, one of the daughters of this gent[lema]n a most interesting & sweet tempered young lady, well known to me ever since her birth. They  they [sic] live with me, & have already two lovely daughters.
My son William Waldegrave Park having also decided to go into the Church; & having received from the son of my old & much valued friend, Mr Bowdler, the appointment to be his Curate at Addington in Kent in the Diocese of Rochester — he accordingly received dimpsory[?] letters[?] from the Bishop of that See to the Bishop of Winchester, to ordain my dear boy — & the latter Bishop kindly[?] invited him to come & spend[?] a couple of days with him at Farnham Castle. He was accordingly ordained on Sunday 20th Dec[embe]r 1829, & on the 23[r]d (Wednesday) read prayers in St Giles’s Church, doing his first clerical duty in that church, in which he had been baptised. I went with him into Kent, & on 3[r]d Jan[uar]y 1830, he preached his first sermon, which was, by an unforeseen coincidence that very day 23 years, on which he had been baptized.
In April 1831 he was ordained priest by the Bishop of Rochester to that very Curacy — at Bromley Palace.
This year 1831 has to me been a source of great affliction; for I went to town to attend the coronation of W[illia]m the 4th, it being to take place in Sept[embe]r. I went from Glouc[este]r assizes on purpose, my dearest wife having gone down to her son at Elwick Hall, when I was upon the Circuit. But after I got to my house at Merton, I was seized with the cholera, a pestitential disease, then raging in the country; & I was therefore obliged to have my illness communicated to his Majesty thro’ the Lord Chancellor, to have my non-attendance excused as one of his judges at the approaching solemnity.
As soon as I recovered, I set out with my son Waldegrave for Elwick Hall & arrived the 14th Sept[embe]r but alas, I found that the angel spirit of my dearest wife had taken its flight the day before (the 13 Sept[embe]r) having had a very short previous illness. With this dearest woman, I had lived upwards of 40 years in uninterrupted harmony. She was without exception, a woman of the gentlest temper, of most placid manner, a most attached wife, a most tender mother — & above all, a sincer unostentatious Christian.  Her husband & children adored her. & well they might: for her only anxiety was to contribute to their happiness.
She is buried on the outside of the church at Elwick Hall — on the south side of the chancel. A vault & monument have been made & erected there & in the inside in the chancel, a tablet is also erected to perpetuate the memory of this excellent woman. My children insist that, wherever I die, I shall be laid beside my darling wife. My only objection is expence, if I should be called hence, either in London or at a distance from Elwick. But in all other respects, it is a pleasing reflection to lie by one so dearly beloved. God grant that we may have a happy meeting in that blest place where sorrow & grief shall never enter: & where my firm belief is, & at all events it is a  delightful feeling, that we shall there recognize our virtuous friends.
I cannot now call to mind that any thing very particular occurred in 1832 — except increase of family in three of my married children. My eldest son James of Elwick Hall has now six, Mrs Dickens 9, Mrs Eden 4, & my dear Alex[ande]r two.
But 1833 has been a year most fertile in events, in which i have taken a great interest, & in which my family are deeply concerned. My dearest Alex[ande]r in the sprint of this year when I was at Exeter on the Lent Circuit lost his youngest child in the hooping cough: & grateful ought to be (as I trust I am to a merciful God) that out of 21 grand-  -children this is the only one I have lost. But again her loss was rapidly supplied; for in June Mrs Alex[ande]r Park was brought to bed of another little girl, still keeping up the number 21.
In the summer I went the [sic] Midland circuit — & renewed my acquaintance with a most amiable young clergyman, Mr Ch[arle?]s Trisleton[?], quite a pattern[?] of virtue & good conduct both moral & religious. After the Circuit, he kindly travelled with me to my son’s in the Co[unty] of Durham — & being shut up with him 3 days in a Post Chariot, I had full opportunity of knowing him intas[?] et in cute[?]. He staid [sic] at my son[’]s for a week, & ret[urne]d to his Rectory in Warwickshire. My son Waldegrave  then joined me at his brother[’]s; & Mrs Park, my 2 sons & I set off on a little tour into my native country of Scotland. We stopped at Newcastle a day for the feast of the sons of the clergy — & then proceeded to Edin[bu]r[gh?] where we arrived on Sat[urda]y the 7th Sept[embe]r. On Sunday the 8th I went to 2 most splendid Episcopal Churches, finished since I was last at Eden[bu]r[gh?]. In one of them I heard a most beautiful sermon On Prayer from Rev[eren]d I. Sinclair[,] son of Sir John Sinclair Bart[?].
After 5 delightful days spent in my native city, we proceeded to Glasgow: & on Sunday the 15th both my sons did duty. After traversing a part of the Highlands, we stopped  with my old friend Bishop Gleiz[?] ae[?] Stirling on the 22[n]d who was from his age, given up all duty, not purely episcopal. But he has got an excellent successor in Mr Henderson, a young Englishman.
We returned to Elwick Hall on the 27th Sept[embe]r & heard of the sudden & most unlooked for death of the Hon.[?] Mrs Best, daughter in law of Lord Wynford & daughter of my revered[?] brother judge, Sir James Burrough, for whose severe loss, I most deeply feel.
On 29th Sept[embe]r my son Waldegrave preached in his brother’s church.
On the Monday after I returned from Scotland, I was taken extremely ill; & passed the whole of the night in extreme pain. However blessed be God’s holy name, on the Tuesday afternoon I was quite recovered.
 On the first Sunday in Oct[obe]r I had the comfort of receiving the Holy Com[munio?]n from my dear son’s hands in his own church. I set out the next day for London; & visited in my way, the good Bishop of Durham, my dear Charles Thisleton[?] — spent 3 days with my dear daughter Dickens & arrived in Lond[o]n to attend the Old Bailey sessions.
The blessings of God are continually showering upon me & mine. Soon after my arrival in London, I rece[ive]d a most affectionate letter from the Bishop of Durham offering the Vicarage of Kirk Whelpington in North[umberlan]d to my son Waldegrave; or if he declined it, to my son in law, Mr Eden. Such kindness is quite unequalled, after what he had done for my eldest son.
Waldegrave went down to look at it, saw his friend & patron the Bishop, & accepted it. He has been collated[?]  but not inducted. And strange to say, he has now reling[?] wished it, for a young lady, upon whom had set his affections, & who agreed to marry him, with full consent of her father; except that he would not permit his daughter (having only another daughter & she blind, & no son) to go so far from him. And one cannot say this is unreasonable for a widowed father under such circumstances. It is the more excusable, because he has immense possessions both in Kent (where he lives part of the years; & also in Cheshire where for part of the year he also resides — & he has 2 livings[?], donatives[?]. This gentleman’s name is Gates[?], a  near relation of the Right Hon. Sir Rob[er]t Peel. So that the connection is most desirable. Have I not then reason to exclaim and to feel deeply which I trust I do, the beautiful thanksgivings of the psalmist “Praise the Lord, O my Lord, & all that is within me, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, & forget not all his benefits — Who forgiveth all thy sins, & healeth all thy infirmities who crowneth, or encircleth thee with loving kindness & tender mercies.”
Mr Gates[?] has settled at present £18000 sterling on his marriage, & on the morning of the marriage made his daughter a present of £1000. I also settled £7000 on my son — & Mr Gates has by this settlement given  my son a life interest in £32000 more upon his own death.
This marriage took place on the 10th April — & certainly the young lady appears most amiable, but of delicate health. This year also (1834) has added three more to the stock of grandchildren — My eldest son had a 7th child born, while I was at Durham, who is named, Alexander. Mrs Dickens has had her 10th child who is to be called Selina Fanny; and my son Alex[ande]r who lives with me has also a son born, who is named Atherton Allan, being his fourth child. I have now living 24 grandchildren. May the blessing of God, & the influences of his Holy Spirit rest upon them!
Last summer (June 1834) I had a most unexpected honor  conferred upon me. The Duke of Wellington (the greatest man of this age, whether we regard him as a warrior or statesman) having been elected Chancellor of the University of Oxford, that most famous & renowned university, was to have his grand installation on the 9th 10th 11th & 12th days of June: & to my surprise I received from the convocation a letter requesting me to go to Oxford upon that great occasion; & to receive the honor of the degree of Dr in the Civil Law. I felt this honor the more sensibly; because I had never been to any university; because it was an honor wholly unsolicited & unexpected: & I can only attribute it to my well known attachment to the sound principles of our truly apostolic Church of England. I accordingly  went, & a more splendid sight I never saw. When I entered the theatre (containing about 3000 people) it was quite overpowering; & when the illustrious Chancellor shook me by the hand, & placed me amongst the doctors I own I felt a high gratification. The manner too in which my name, when announced, was received by the young men, who have often seen me there as Judge of Assize, & who upon these occasions, as I am told, take the liberty of expressing their praise or dispraise, was certainly most welcome to my feelings.
I had also the happiness to witness another most delightful spectacle soon after my return from Oxford.
On the 21 June, the Lord Mayor (Alderman[?] Farebrother) gave a most splendid entertainment at the Mansion House  to almost all the Conservative nobility; the Duke of Gloucester; almost all the Bishops — all the Judges — & a vast number of the female nobility. We sat down to dinner about 300 in the Egyptian Hall — & I never saw any company with greater unanimity of feeling than prevailed upon that occasion.
The year, in which I married, 1791, my dearest wife, as I have elsewhere mentioned, she & I introduced family devotion by having my servants to prayers every Sunday morning & evening, & in the evenings, reading a sermon also. This plan has been persevered in for now 44 years. I had wished to introduce daily prayers into the family circle, more particularly as my family grew on:  but my many duties while at the Bar & on the Bench; & the necessary irregularity of my hours rendered it impossible without making it an indecently hurried act. I had no difficulty with Sunday; for as I had long given up all Sunday company at home, unless a few young men, whom I was assisting in their Christian progress, & who therefore rejoiced in being allowed the privilege[?] of attending our family worship, I felt the delight & pleasure of this pious conduct. But it has indeed been a blessing to my children; for my five sons & daughters, who have gone forth from my parental roof, have all introduced daily worship in their respective families. And now in autumn last, my dear son Alex[ande]r who, with his wife & children, lives  with me, asked if I had any objection to introduce daily morning & evening prayer, while in the country, where we are not so liable to interruption, as in town. Of course, I rejoiced in the proposal & it has been continued, & I hope successfully, ever since. In London, every morning only: for the reason given in the preceding page. May God give his blessing to all our pious endeavours to exalt his glory amongst men!
Dec[embe]r 16. For four years, during the Administration of Earl Grey & Lord Melbourne, all the wellwishers to their country, all those strongly attached to our venerable mother, the Church of England, & to all our institutions have been in a constant state of alarm, owing to the reckless manner in which these wise & admirable props of our  glorious constitution, were assailed & undermined by the base, ignorant, and profligate men who had got into the lower House of Parliament, by means of the reform Bill: & as it should seem, their proceedings were connived at by our imbecile ministers, if not openly avowed, but certainly in some cases, sanctioned by them. As long, however, as these men only dealt with temporal matters, God seems to have left them to their own devices: but when their talk went to shew, that an attack upon the Holy Church of God was meditated in the ensuing session of Parliament, the Almighty seems to have bared his holy arm, & confounded their devices, as Uzzah was struck dead, when he dared to touch the Ark of the Living God.
So God was pleased, upon the death  of Earl Spencer, when his son Lord Althorp Chancellor of the Exch[eque]r, succeeding to the House of Lords, became thereby incapacitated from holding that office, to put it into the heart of our King immediately & of his own accord, wholly to dissolve the Ministry, so democratically & some of them, radically inclined: & to call back to his Councils the Duke of Wellington, Lord Lyndhurst & Sir R[ober?]t Peel, & all the sound Conservatives of our ancient venerable institutions. May God pour out his spirit upon them — inspire them with genuine patriotism, sound principles, unanimity in all their counsels for the glory of God, the preservation of our kind, maintenance of his & our just rights & the maintenance of social order amongst us!
Feb[ruary] 7. This very day it is 64 years since I landed in London from Edin[bu]r[gh?] with my dear parents. I was then between 7 & 8 years of age: & at that time my dear father & mother were under great pressure of worldly circumstances, from which they never were fully released. When I reflect upon the unlikely & sad circumstances, which surrounded me & mine, & the beginnings of my early life, comparing them with the high dignity, to which I have attained, as one of the supreme Judges; the affluent state of my finances; the delightful family of chilren & grandchildren, by whom I am surrounded; the numerous excellent & religious friends attached to me; the immense number of young men, whom, by affectionate advice & example, I have rescued & brought back  from the paths of vice, or kept in the ways of virtue, I am lost in wonder, love, admiration, praise & thanksgiving at the goodness of God to so mean & unworthy a creature. His praise must ever be on my lips; arising from a real spirit in my heart of devout thanksgiving. No creature in the whole universe has so much to thank thee for, O God, as I have; & hence my gratitude ought not to be surpassed in ardour & sincerity. Where, oh where, shall I find words to praise thee for all thy unbounded mercies: so innumerable are the proofs of thy goodness, O God, that I cannot even name them: but I will extol & magnify they name while I have breath in this world,  for the atonement of thy blessed Son[?], I trust, to all eternity hereafter. The goodness of God supports my faculties: it maintains my energies; it crowns my life; it prospers my ways. Lord, what I was, what I am, & what I shall hereafter be, is all the gift of thy goodness.
How just & merciful is God!How gracious is the Lord!Who saves the harmless, & to meDoes timely aid afford.
Then, free from pensive cares, my soul,Resume thy wonted [sic] rest:For God has wondrously to theeHis bounteous love exprest.
When death alarmed me, he remov’dMy dangers & my fearsMy feet from falling, he secur’dAnd dried my eyes from tears.
Therefore my life’s remaining yearsWhich God to me shall lend,Will I in praises to his name,And in his service spend.
Praise be the Lord — Hallelujah!
 Since I wrote the last obervations, I have had much in this year (1835) to call forth the deepest resignation to the will of God, in a most awful dispensation, & on the other hand, the greatest calls of gratitude & praise for increasing blessings, at lest to my children, & therefore to me.
On the 28th February, I set out upon the Oxford Circuit — & arrived at Gloucester (the last place) on the 4th of April. Monday the 6th was my birth day, which I did not forget in my private devotions, having on that day completed 72 years — & I was just dressed going into court to begin the assizes, when a letter was brought to me from Elwick Hall, from my beloved son, James Allan, stating that his anjelic [sic] wife had departed this life  on Thursday the 2[n]d of April. I almost fainted at this unexpected & fearful intelligence; & yet I was obliged to go into court till Saturday night, not being able to get any assistance.
My dearest son was as much taken by surprise as I was; for this excellent woman had been twice with her good[?] husband at church on the Sunday, & had attended the Sunday School with him on that day: it was thought she had a slight cold; but no danger was apprehended till the Thursday morning — & she was a corpse on the evening of that day. I finished at Glouc[este]r late on Saturday night; but not chusing to travel on Sunday, I staid[?] church both parts[?] of the day & set out for Elwick Hall the next morning, & arrived on the Wednesday. I need  not say, how affecting our meeting was, tooing[?] each other as, blessed be God: but he is a thorough Christian & well practises what he teaches. He read prayers to his family during the week very firmly: but on Saturday evening, he had a strong hysteric fit which alarmed me much; & more as at family prayers the next morning, he was so moved that I was obliged to take the Book & finish the prayers. This alarmed me much for the Sunday service; for tho’ a kind friend came over to assist him by reading & preaching also, yet being Easter Day, & a great many communicants, he thought it his duty to take his part in that solemn service.
 He was of course much agitated because he had to administer it to me, to his brother Alex[ande]r & to his dear sister Mrs Dickens & her husband, who was as I have said, brother to his dear departed wife, & who had both fled to him upon hearing of his misfortune. Besides he was within 3 yards of the spot where the remains of his dear wife & mother (my dearest Lady Park) are deposited. In the afternoon he himself read the public service in church: & I rather think by so soon engaging in his sacred duties, he has received comfort. He is left with 7 darlings — the eldest only eleven, & the youngest about 6 months, who was obliged to be weaned suddenly  from his sainted mother: but thank God, he has not suffered at all. My son Waldegrave was gone back before I arrived. His father in law, Mr Gates[?], was on his dying bed, & my son was paying every duty to him: but upon Mr Gates[?] hearing that Mrs Park was no more, he insisted upon my son setting out to attend the funeral, & to console & comfort his brother. He accordingly set out from Kent & travelled 300 miles — ateended the funeral of his sister in law, & set out again for Kent immediately after, & arrived only a couple of days before Mr Gates[?] breathed his last.
I was obliged to leave my son on Monday  morning, term being begun & my son Alex[ande]r & I arrived in London on the Wednesday following the 22[n]d April.
My son Waldegrave;s wife was brought to bed at my house at Merton Grove on the day of [______] 1835 of a very fine girl; & she was baptized at Wimbledon Church by her father Waldegrave Park on Sunday the 9th of August.
This makes my number of living grandchildren 26 complete. My dear James has 7, Mrs Dickens 10, Alex[ande]r 3, Mrs Eden 5, & Waldegrave 1. May God of his infinite mercy grant that they may all prove as worthy, & as great blessings to their respective parents, as they the parents have all  without exception, proved to me.
Having on Friday the 14th Aug[us]t concluded the Home Circuit, I on the Monday following the 17th set out for Elwick Hall, with Alex[ande]r his wife & children, & we arrived there on 19th & found my dearest James & his family, his eldest daughter excepted, very well. During my stay at Elwick, I erected a very handsome tablet on the north side of the chancel, close to my beloved wife’s, to commemorate the death & the virtues of my dear daughter in law. Her mother & 2 sisters are gone to keep house with him: & being in hopes that he has procured an excellent governess  for his children, tho’ his severe loss[?] can never ben effectually repaired, the misery will by God’s blessing & entire[?] submission to his holy will, be in some measure alleviated.